Wednesday, February 17, 2010


This is my bad movie blog for class. It's not quite as outrageous as this one but I hope you'll enjoy it as a companion piece.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Hey the oscars fuckin stink

I'm gonna post the nominations and then I'm going to say what I think should win and what I think will win. If I knew how to post an excell (excel? eh?) document or some kind of spread sheet than that is what I would be doing. However, I do not, not on blogger's caveman like software at least. Reminds me of editing a myspace. Anyways...I'm not going to do much exposition this time. The Oscars have been talked to death and I feel like at this point of the nomination/complaining process I'm just going through the motions. Anyways it's a shitty year for movies so here's my shitty list. I'm also going to comment on the ones that surprise or confuse me.

Best Supporting Actress
Penelope Cruz, Nine
Vera Farmiga, Up in the Air
Maggie Gyllenhaal, Crazy Heart
Anna Kendrick, Up in the Air
Mo'nique, Precious

Whose going to win?
Who do I want to win?
Mo’nique. I’m sure the academy will agree with me on this one. I recently saw Precious and I think her final scene in the film, reduced to a tearful mess and sputtering out fleeting words of hatred towards her daughter contained one of the most powerful female acting performances I’ve seen in years. I was truly impressed at the way she brought harsh realism to this terrible character.

Best Supporting Actor
Matt Damon, Invictus
Woody Harrelson, The Messenger
Christopher Plummer, The Last Station
Stanley Tucci, The Lovely Bones
Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds

Whose going to win?
Christoph Waltz
Who Do I want to win?
Christoph Waltz. Once again I agree with the Academy. Waltz really brought it, in what was to me one of the best villain performances I’ve seen, right up there with Heath Ledger and Daniel Day Lewis. Clever, Charming and downright self-centered, he was the star of the film and managed to steal every scene he was on camera. I had heard the buzz about his humorous and cunning performance prior to seeing the movie and once I finally saw it I was blown away. He’s like no other character I’ve ever seen. One minute a socialite and the next minute a murderer. He switches back and forth and stays totally in control the whole time.

Best Actress
Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side
Helen Mirren, The Last Station
Carey Mulligan, An Education
Gabourey Sidibe, Precious
Meryl Streep, Julie & Julia

Whose going to win:
Gaby Sidibe (rob says Sandra Bullock but I think she’s a talentless cougar)
Who do I want to win?
Gaby Sidibe. Once again for the THIRD time I agree with the goddamn academy (this isn’t the main reason I hate them. Usually they know how to appreciate good acting). Gaby Sidibe owes a lot to Lee Daniels for how her character is shown but her performance in itself was also a powerhouse. Beady eyes and an elephantine physique in Precious hide a true desire to learn and to be a good mother. I really enjoyed her in the film and I’d be thrilled to see her win.

Best Actor
Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart
George Clooney, Up in the Air
Colin Firth, A Single Man
Morgan Freeman, Invictus
Jeremy Renner, The Hurt Locker

Whose going to win:
Probably Jeff Bridges but I wouldn’t be surprised if Colin Firth did. I mean they’ve been Oscar pimping A Single Man since the trailers.
Who do I want to win?
Jeremy Renner. What a great character. Here’s a man who spends his life diffusing bombs to the point where he cares about nothing else. He can no longer lead a normal life because he’s driven by the desire to be on the front lines. The sad thing is I wasn’t enthralled with a single performance from any of these nominations. I mean yeah this guy was good but when I think about the Hurt Locker I think of the gritty realism not the performances.

Best Director
James Cameron, Avatar
Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker
Quentin Tarantino, Inglourious Basterds
Lee Daniels, Precious
Jason Reitman, Up in the Air

Whose going to win?
James Cameron. Cause he’s a dirty old fuck who needs to cut his hair.
Who do I want to win?
Out of the choices, I’d like to see either Kathryn Bigelow or Tarantino win, but I’m not sure it would be fun to see Tarantino actually get an Oscar. It would do terrible things for his ego which he doesn’t deserve. Honestly the Cohen brothers deserve to win for A serious Man. That was some of the best direction I’ve ever seen in a film and it’s not even recognized here.

Original Screenplay
Mark Boal, The Hurt Locker
Quentin Tarantino, Inglourious Basterds
Alessandro Camon & Oren Moverman, The Messenger
Joel & Ethan Coen, A Serious Man
Pete Docter, Bob Peterson, & Thomas McCarthy, Up

Whose going to win?
Quentin Tarantino.
Who do I want to Win?
Quentin Tarantino. This is not a terrifically exciting category for me but I’ll live. Tarantino is a shoe-in. Basterds is an expertly crafted script that he’s been working on for years. He’s a script writing genius so it’s really no surprise to me that he’s created a masterpiece, and probably my favorite film of his to date. The script has however, inherit problems the more I watch it and lost the quirkiness of some of his more self-indulgent early work. All of the best writing is spent on Hans Landa. When you ignore Landa and everything that surrounds him, the rest of the movie is not nearly as interesting. But it’s still a great script.

Adapted Screenplay
Neil Blomkamp & Terri Tatchell, District 9
Nick Hornby, An Education
Jesse Armstrong, Simon Blackwell, Armando Ianucci, & Tony Roche, In the Loop *big surprise
Geoffrey Fletcher, Precious
Jason Reitman & Sheldon Turner, Up in the Air

Whose going to win:
Precious or Up in the Air. Probably Up in the Air
Who do I want to win:
Don’t care at all.

Foreign Language Film
Ajami (Israel)
El secreto de sus ojos (Argentina)
The Milk of Sorrow (Peru)
Un Prophete (France)
The White Ribbon (Germany)

Whose going to win:
What the fuck are these movies?
Who do I want to win:
Don’t care. I’ll be getting snacks during this portion of the show.

Animated Film
Fantastic Mr. Fox
The Princess and the Frog
The Secret of Kells

Whose going to win:
Up…duh. Pixar knows their shit.
Who do I want to win:
Coraline. I loved Coraline. I haven’t seen Up but I somehow doubt it will be able to wow me the way Coraline did. I seriously felt like I’d been transported to some crazy fantasy world watching Coraline. I thought Wall E was pretty terrible when I saw it too so I’m not sure Pixar can really appeal to me. I hated Ratatouille too. Sue me.

Best Picture
The Blind Side
District 9
An Education
The Hurt Locker
Inglourious Basterds
A Serious Man
Up in the Air

What’s going to win:
What I want to win:
I’d be ok with Basterds, The Hurt Locker or A Serious Man. However, James Cameron’s technological masturbation is going to win. What does this say about movies today? Effects mean more than plot? Seeing blue monkeys and cliché characters in 3D seriously impresses everyone more than an actual story like Basterds. Here we have a film carried by a great great performance and an entertaining and humorous store. Or you have an introspective and dark film like A Serious Man, which is also funny in it’s own right but also highly intelligent. Then you have Up in the Air, an adult comedy which is fairly run of the mill but still fairly watchable and remarkable. You then have the Hurt Locker, the most realistic retelling of war you’re likely to find. More so than a documentary, this film puts you in the heat of the Iraq war, right in the desert with the sweat the flies. It’s gritty and depressing but very real. Even Precious, the story of a fat girl’s struggle in a shitty neighborhood with her bitch mother is something many people can relate to, and even if we can’t we can be saddened by it. I haven’t seen Blind Side, and District 9 doesn’t deserve to be nominated but for godsakes anything but the blue people. It’s an internet meme. That can never be good can it? This film relies only on new technology which just isn’t all that impressive. I feel like this is the fable of the Emperor’s new Clothes. A couple of thieves (james Cameron) come in and tell everyone this is the most impressive shit they’re ever gonna see. Then they see it and they feel like they’re supposed to have seen something amazing. Yeah the visuals are good but the movie itself sucks. The visuals aren’t THAT good either. I didn’t leave the theater a changed man. It was great on Imax but shit is shit even if you paint it blue and throw it in people’s face in 3D. I think this will be the last year I watch Oscar nominations. Especially since there’s not a goddamn thing I want to see in 2010.

Oh yeah and the anorexic blue cat-apes are going to win cinematography too. I’ve read nothing but article after article on the hype and all I can say anymore is two words.

Fuck avatar.

The only place I've ever really felt home.

You don't have to hate on me because I miss it.