Monday, December 13, 2010

My very own OFFICIAL HOLIDAY LIST!!! (I'm such a nerd)

I'll admit I've been saving up things to say for this one. It seems like I'm just brimming with my own unique facets of craziness which must be expressed in the form of holiday blogs.

LOOKIT ALL DIS CHRISTMAS SHIT! First it was white out MTN Dew…and now I’ve taken a trip to Dunkin Donuts yielding RED ASS donuts. I don’t know what it is that’s so good about red icing, but it has a certain chalky, tangible consistency that’s rarely found in icing of other colors. I appreciate it. I also appreciate how long and widespread this promotion has been. I’ve found these at MULTIPLE Dunkin locations now, being flanked by the gingerbread donut. The gingerbread flavoring in this one is convincing, though I think the caked on frosting helps. A note about frosting: The more dry and plastic in consistency it is, the better it is. I can’t stand it when shit gets on my hands and when it gets greasy. Even if I do hold my donuts with napkins, It’s just an unpleasant experience smattering your face in donut…grease. Makes you feel hot and sweaty and disgusting. I can’t even talk about this anymore. Let’s talk about something else disgusting…(as I’m coming down from a nauseating “Bolocoma”….
Mcrib is back. El Sabor or something the sign says en espanol. For only 4.50 (Tax included) you can now get the porklet sandwhich, fries, a drank and a FREE apple pie. I imagine, due to the hand printed out signs, that this is not a nation-wide promotion. Either way, I was feeling the Christmas cheer. It’s the season of getting. I don’t know when the Mcrib will actually be gone for good, but I shall not mourn it given the enormously long span of time in which it’s been available to us now. I think I’ve had about 4 of them in this time period though, and they’ve been getting increasingly less impressive.

We actually have a lot to be thankful for this holiday season…and a lot to look forward to. I’m going to now rattle off my official CHRISTMAS LIST! A top ten things I want or ten things I’m looking forward to that are pretty cool stories…bro. I guess this is really a nerdy/trendy Christmas list more than anything, but it’s basically the driving reasons to be alive during the winter months.

1. TRON! Coming out this week is the new super sleek astroglide movie TRON with Jeff Bridges. Hopefully it has nothing to do with the original TRON, which sucks a fat one. It looks like nonsensical fun with visual wonder.

2. THE TOWN on Blu Ray. So apparently, Ben Affleck’s new movie THE TOWN comes out this week on blu ray (to relatively little hype) with an EXTENDED cut that makes the movie half an hour longer. I don’t know about you but I can’t wait to see some of that. This was easily one of my favorite movies this year so I’m eager of course, to see more of it.

3. The Tron Soundtrack…by DAFT PUNK. While I already mentioned the hype for TRON itself, I don’t think I mentioned how damn cool the soundtrack is, which was made by the electronica band, DAFT PUNK. One of the tracks (Track 2, the grid) features Jeff Bridges talking over images of lightcycles and crazy shit flying through the computer screens.
4. BATMAN RETURNS-THE EXTENDED SOUNDTRACK. This is something that’s REALLY important to me, possibly more so than most of the things on this list purely because I’ve been waiting so long for it. The simple fact that I have it though, makes it a little harder to be excited for, like the TRON soundtrack. I’ve always believed this to be Danny Elfman’s best score so this is really a treat getting to hear alternate cues and extended tracks from the score that I’ve been familiarizing myself with since the mid 90’s on cassette tape.
5. The Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job Chrimbus Special. Oh I love Tim and Eric. Their sense of ironically lame humor is highly relevant to my interests. Needless to say, the Chrimbus special now on itunes) improves just about every time I watch the damn thing. It’s been a long, difficult summer and fall without Tim and Eric since the final season of the show ended. Hopefully the Chrimbus special will be a yearly thing and is a sign of more lolz to come.

6. Rocky Horror Picture Show Anniversary Blu Ray. Rocky Horror has been a struggle to get on DVD or blu ray of any kind, but now that it’s finally been transferred, and the transsexual movie is finally on shelves at Walmart and Target, it’s much more attainable. I haven’t broke down and bought this one yet, but hopefully someone gets the hint and picks it up for me…EITHER THAT OR I WASTE MY OWN MONEY ON IT.

7. Admiral Ackbar…the action figure. IT’S A TRAP! No…no it’s not. Instead it’s the best toy version of Admiral Ackbar yet. Highly worthy of purchase, especially at the relatively low exchange rate of currency for fishman of $7 at your local retailer. He comes in the traditional 1980’s style packaging as well to boot. But it’d be a crime to leave Admiral Ackbar in the box when there’s so many lolz to be made. I already have mine. WHERES YOURS?
8. Machete on Blu Ray. While this one is more of a New Years present, Machete complete with cooking lessons from Robert Rodriguez, behind the scenes, and all the extras you can shake a blade at, will be out January 3rd. You can bet your ass I’m excited for this release and I’ll be picking it up regardless of circumstance the day it comes out. Hopefully I’m not too broke from dumping money into all the rest of this stuff by the time it comes out.

9. TRUE GRIT. Coen Brothers. Bridges. Johnny Cash. Epic Little girl. Brolin. Damon. Amazing. That’s about all I have to say. We’re less than a week from GODDAMN TRUE GRIT, which is my most anticipated film of the entire year, and it comes out just a couple days before the year ends. What could possibly outrank this in terms of importance you ask?

10. GOOD WILL TOWARDS MEN. And a merry christmahanukwanzika to everyone. Are you JUDGING me for not being able to think of ten reasons to be alive? A joyous holiday season to you all. Eat shit and die.

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